It’s a popular phrase, usually one that comes out of men’s mouths.
It’s a phrase that either makes a woman blush and roll her eyes, or makes her question herself, wondering if she’s both women in one.
But ask most men and they will tell you that’s exactly what they want. I remember a pastor once said the exact same thing. “When I got married, my wife was a virgin … but I let her know … I told her straight up … ‘Baby … I want a lady on the streets and a tiger in the sheets.’”
The broad smile on his face would give way to the possibility that he got exactly that.
But what exactly does this mean? This ancient phrase that men seem to seek in their women. Notably, this is the description of the type of woman they want to take home to their mothers, the “wifey” material. But what does it mean to women?
Lady on the streets
Speaking with some sistahs, the description was mostly unanimous. Being a lady on the streets constitutes having a aura that depicts the strength of woman, with all the subtly and delicacy of a debutante. But at the same time, she must be intelligent enough to outwit, converse and even challenge those around her, irrespective of their sex.
A lady on the streets would never be compromised. Her name would not be called in scandals; and she would not lower herself to public displays of outlandish, vagabond, or unladylike behaviour should she be confronted.
Granted, the “lady on the streets”, doesn’t necessarily have to be the church-going prima donna. Of course, we do agree that she is of good social upstanding, with reputable moral standards. She doesn’t only exhibit the look of a lady in her appearance, but also in her behaviour.
Being a lady, can be challenging at times. And of course there will be times when she may just lose her cool (everyone has their breaking point). But of this lady, when she does lose her cool, it should be said of her, “Something must have pushed her to that.”
This “lady” in the 21st century by no mean subscribes to the colonial description: “a lady should be seen, not heard.” In this day and age, you will not only see the lady, but you will hear her.
You will hear her in the pulpit as she delivers messages of conviction, encouragement and a love incomprehensible to mankind.
You will hear her voice in the air-conditioned boardroom, where she will match wits, be shown respect and amply present her points. She will be heard in her home organising, disciplining and keeping the peace. She will be heard loudly protesting in the streets, on the radio and on the TV, advocating human rights, rights for women like herself, and rights for children. This is the lady whose voice you will hear, even in your darkest hour, when you are alone and unnerved, and find comfort in the strength of her voice.
Naturally, the “lady on the streets” knows how to turn heads, leave men speechless, have women envy her and all without so much as a hint of cleavage exposed.
Yes, dressing like a lady is just as important as acting like one. A lady on the streets, in no way constitutes the lady on the street corner. Indeed, her attire commands respect, and admiration.
Men like having to use their imaginations. It’s part of the chase; so when a woman is wearing a blouse with only her nipples covered, it really doesn’t leave much to the imagination. Call it something embedded in their genes, but men, even those who love a woman that makes the first move, still love the chase.
More than that, however, a man loves knowing that he’s privileged to see (literally and figuratively) a side of his woman, that no one else will be able to see. Well, that goes for the woman he plans on taking home to his mom, and spending his life with.
The most attractive, and sensuous thing about such a lady, is her confidence. It’s her confidence that makes her stand out against the other women with the can’t-even-cross-my-legs-short skirts, and the boobs-popping-out-bra-showing tops. Confidence is something that is exposed without effort.
But that’s the lady.
Between the sheets
Call it fantasy, call it pleasing and keeping your man, call it being a freak. But it’s no secret that men want a woman who can put aside her inhibitions while being intimate.
On this note, some women might blush, might find it downright ludicrous and sacrilegious, while others embrace such a challenge and keep their men smiling.
A “freak between the sheets” is an interesting concept, but it simply means being free, somewhat aggressive and explorative between those sheets.
I remember watching an interview with Evangelist Juanita Bynum, just after she’d gotten married in 2002. She explained to the interviewer that she had a walk-in closet just for her Victoria Secrets’ ensembles, lingerie and the like. She noted, “I’m a woman of God, but I’m also a woman who knows how to keep her man.”
A few years ago, I attended a seminar, where this question was posed to the visiting pastor hosting the seminar: “Is oral sex wrong for Christians?”
Explaining that the Bible quotes: “Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled…” (Hebrew 13:4), the pastor shared that his personal belief is that once married, and both husband and wife agree to the sexual act, the “bed” remains undefiled. “Once you respect each other and it’s something you both want to engage in … then go ahead.”
But for some women, it may not be so easy to let go of their inhibitions. There is the question of self-image, the terror of just getting naked in front of the man, wondering if your body will make any of those weird noises, and even if he’ll look at you differently in the morning.
Men don’t care about that. And again, confidence comes into play, that’s a key factor. There’s nothing wrong with feeling sexy, being sexy or showing your man just how sexy he makes you feel.
Nothing wrong with that at all. Men like a woman who will respond to them, and even take an initiative.
And don’t bother to watch those trashy porns – they’re actresses, so you don’t need tips from them in case you’re at a loss as to how to unleash your inner freak.
There are many books (some even have pictures) that will clue you in, you can even check the Best of Books for a few; order them over the net if you’re too embarrassed to be seen in the section; or just go online.
But you must be comfortable. And you can’t be comfortable with your man, if you’re not comfortable with yourself. Look at yourself in the mirror and find the beauty.
If you’re not pleased with the way you look, either eat some more to cover those bones, or get into an exercise class (I highly recommend pole dancing … but that’s another article … coming soon).
Being in freak between the sheets in no way diminishes your persona of being a lady on the streets. Men like having both women in the same woman.
And, for the most part, many men are pleasantly surprised when they discover that their lady on the streets, can indeed let go of her inhibitions and be a freak between the sheets. (Antigua Sun)